Ever since Avi posted Gambit's Pawn on AKN, it has spawned a humorous exchange on arranged marriages. Here are two verses that offer the perspective of the bride and father of the bride. The intention is to look at the institution of arranged marriage in a lighter vein.
The setting...an unsuspecting man has been lured by family to visit the house of a prospective bride. There a family album is thrust before him and through innuendos, the family tries to persuade him to give a positive feedback regarding the match. The man calls it an attempt to fix his marriage "by stealth."
Now read on...
The face in the album was pretty
and before he could blink
an aunt turned towards the kitchen door
and summoned with a wink.
No longer a mere face in the album
soon the entire person appeared
with tray laden with tea and samosas
It was just as the poor chap feared!
He knew he was outnumbered
by mistresses of the game
He had a sinking feeling and
hoped she was feeling the same
But she was perfectly calm and cool
pouring tea with steady hand
and a little voice warned in his head
"Ab tera to baj gaya band!!"**
And all the while the pretty face
was thinking how she must
soon write to cousins and tell them
"Another bachelor bites the dust!"
Scene 2 :a wedding toast...
Whether check or stalemate
The bachelor’s fate
Was sealed on that trip
And all watched his blood drip
As he was led on a halter
To the sacrificial alter
And ‘just married’ chimed the bong
At the wedding meal
The bride's father with zeal
Raised a toast to the pair
And said - "I’d like to share
A momentous feeling
From which I am reeling
Coz’ to hide it would be wrong
After all these years
I have finally managed my dears
To take my lovely girl’s hand
On which shines the wedding band
And move it from MY PURSE TO HIS
I cannot fully express my bliss
For this I have waited so long!!"
(**Tr: 'you have been done for')